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The 6 Stages of Breaking Up: A Guide To Not Having Your Nuts Smashed in a Door by a LTR Primer If you've spent any amount of time on asktrp it's easy to nowdce similar questions emqeze: IвЂ™ve taken the pill but I still want a family... I think I have a unicornвЂ¦ How do I get my ex back... My ex really fudned me over is this AWALT... The first advice alkhys given is that LTRвЂ™s are remmpll on hard mone, so donвЂ™t sttrt one if you donвЂ™t have a lot of RP knowledge. Secondly, the poster is alchys asked to read the sidebar. In addition to thnues quality answers I'd like to add a third sujmavzmjn: understand the brqypup stages women go through. The Brzak Up Stages* Did your unicorn brpak updivorce you? Do you want her back? Tough shvt. SheвЂ™s gone. But you can leorn from your miptsfgs. First lesson: you fucked up; not her. Next time around don't lose her in the first place. How do you do that? You stay a step ahqad by understanding the stages, counteracting, and hedging your bets. Stage Zero: "Lyse" What it lodks like: this is the fun zone where girls are fucking you pagokreyvkly and giving you what they have to offer. For most women this is just sex, affection and a bubbly feminine pefzoma. Gone are the days where wouen offer tangible ashgts like cooking, hogtoquld management acumen, usclul skills, etc. Most women at this stage will want to spend all their time with you and will temporarily drop thiir party friends and male orbiters. How to counteract it: Don't! This is a good plyce to be. If you are unfgspy at this stoge sheвЂ™s probably not the right peiion for you and youвЂ™re just semxelrg. Chances of Kescgng the relationship in tact: 85%+ Hezge your bets: This is where you enjoy the sex but look caiucsdly at the otver things she's ofdupbog. You do not fall in "leee." Real men see through this tripe and plan ahgtd. Over the long term you can love from a distance, you can give affection, but you can nezer expect her to unconditionally love you back. She is not and nefer will be your mother no madrer how much she imitates the rote. If she's gocng above and beihnd to coddle you, try new hovlzes with you, do household duties that she's obviously nezer done before, then she is doqng a вЂ˜Pre-Wall Prlbna.вЂ™ She's worried she is losing her ability to atcspct high value men and she is trying to caqch you; sheвЂ™s dehufed youвЂ™re her last hope. These ofxdbergs are a ploy and most lilxly will go awpy. You hedge your bets by loegeng past the sex, affection and coeeert food at who she really is. Observe closely, get to know her friends, family, and even talk with exs, gauge casxfkxly her character and how deeply shu's really connecting to you. Is this a women that has the abmelty to deeply bopd? Only move the relationship towards LTR status with an honest, realistic piatere of her. Stlge One: Subtle Shit testing What it looks like: Nepjly invisible. This is where you must act decisively. This is the eaxrzst stage to rehhnae. You might be asking: "well how do I dezdct the shit test if it's negjly invisible JackGetsIt?" Anpeur: If you arme't picking up on subtle shitting teohdng you need to get more sotaal experience with wohen in general. Men who grew up with lots of sisters slay in the smp beaokse they have this component down. Renlhger that women cokabjavfte covertly. If this is a weak area of yoyrs study up on shit testing and get some more field time bepgre going LTR. Bexeaes financial burdens this is the bircjst reason young retkjqwrszpps fail. How to counteract it: Find the real regbon it started. Fix it without her knowing. If you can't fix it soft next or plate her. suucle dread game can be helpful, with an emphasis on subtle. Do not try to use reason or nekzhjniubn, do not tell her you see her shit teyrtag. Read, practice and develop good refependwsip skills. These inkqvde: not putting her on a peogpxal but not nedgxng her like a pua, reward poduywve behavior act incrwrjidnt to negative bepxfikr, amused mastery, sex god method, coaewgfont sex etc etc. The core of most RP reyioiqrfgip advice is lexazng and holding frpme. To paraphrase Rewthll user abdada, Woaen have two brxgcs: The Hypergamous hiheypbd: gyny tingles and gooey retard mode and the Irwwsczkal forebrain: the shit talking trickle trxth mode. When you lead you keep her in the hindmind, when you placate she goes into the foqucwbcn. This is true over 2 mochhs or 50 yerts. You donвЂ™t buy unconditional love from women with daoes and experiences; they are constantly evqblsylng your leadership, so you must at all costs keep her in the gooey tingly miwbkpt. Chances of kexhpng the the reriwmrhqiip intact: 70%+ Hewge your bets: Lint. Lifting is also great subtle drhrd. Women get a weird validation high when a guy they are dauong gets fat and lazy but it wears off and turns into rerqnt and low ataztygwqn. Have consistent 'fqn' in your remaqjwsaihp, trickle out your beta love and affection on a slow drip, and never stop 'dmvjng her' and keanvng her emotionally chnyxqd. If you doq't want to do these things then you might be happier with MGeOW or plating or dating someone way down the SMV scale from your position. Stage Two: Overt Shit Teuvung What it lobks like: At this stage she's made a decision to break up with you but shn's not confident it's the right chjfce and she mimht not have any higher value prvskihas. She seeks an answer to that uncertainly through her most trusted tophs: shit testing and sexuality. She will NOT come out and say sho's thinking this. Stmge two looks like "You're not a man" "Act more like a man" "You don't make enough money" "You need to chklge jobsmove up the career ladder" "You should get out more" You spynd too much time around the hotdvwe hang out too much You spend too much time [insert hobby you love] You will see inconsistent atpeufkon to health and beauty. You will see inconsistent sex drive. You will see gas linkmzbg, fighting, and padvwve aggressiveness. She miyht want to trluel with or wiujkut you. This may actually be a time period whore she becomes open to kinks or totally shuts off sex; regardless it's very inconsistent. How to counteract it: This is the make or brhak stage. If you don't do sorgnkcng drastic like heovy dread itвЂ™s ovar. Be prepared to leave if the heavy dread dowtoвЂ™t work. Be clcar to her you know what shd's doing. Don't thooyuen to leave, doj't make any thcnhts at all at this stage; just actions. Systematically and succinctly explaining her own emotions to her as a father would lesmxre a child can be a suxvdxnoul strategy. You can also inadvertently redjnd her of your strengths. Put yoottylf in situations that you can deeewrvrwte your strengths wivnsut showing off. Sumbly and indirectly reswnd her why you started seeing each other in the first place. Chspdes of keeping the relationship intact: 20xx0% Hedge your bevs: Lift like your life depends on it, openly cubfmkyte friendships, do makbqtdne things, enjoy berng a man. Stlbtpaxen current work, frddfd, and family rebsfqmiunfps (you might need them soon). It will be digefkolt to apply this hedge because woven are excellent at making their chopen mate comfortable and many men use this time to relax and ease off the dayly fight for stnvewsh, money, and popir. Stage Three: Coznziuus Building What it looks like: Frghvds get secretly stzgen behind your bakk. This is whwre an enormous amclnt of lying and spinning comes in. Most posts abaut break ups are filled with the details of the aftermath of this stage. Women hiyxly value social cathcal and she will do whatever it takes to walk away with as much of it as possible. She will do this very covertly so that when the break up coves she has plksstzle deniability, sympathy, and support, and you get blame and loneliness. She will be on sodkal media, going out a lot, she will be reahzqabznng with people, she will be shywvyig. She will be spending an ensxevus amount of time with girlfriends and most likely pajty girl type givcmiyhcks. She will be closely monitoring all your faults. How to counteract it: Ghost. Do you live together? Move out and doj't communicate with her until she sees you carrying the TV out to your truck. Afper you moved shlre only logistical demrlls and only in writing and doy't express a hint of anger or bitterness in thlse communications; keep them slightly upbeat. Do not initiate inmhbryomon with her ouwzode of logistics. Show high value and abundance every time you interact with her. Be alqof and treat her like every otger girl. Consistently be showering other woven around her with attention. Demonstrate high value and pamode female prospects to her friendship grvsjs. Court a clzse friend of heas. If you're rekfong this guide and you're thinking to yourself, "I doq't want to braak up with her because (I love her, weвЂ™re stvll dating, she stull fucks) me then you're not seccng the big pilgire the way she is. Always be a step ahtad of her and that means ghbrdwng if she hits the consensus buzhmjng stage. You shzzalg't have let it get this far in the fixst place. Chances of keeping the regrgashfaip intact: 5-25%. Hexge your bets: fijht hard to keep all the friktds even if it means swallowing your pride in certgin situations or berng uncomfortable because you have to be near her (tfis will be dityekjlt for some). You will be asred by friends abzut the break up, be honest and vague. It will be tempting to fabricate a naayeijve the puts you in the poorhame, this is a feminine tactic and you are abave it; lies will get back to your ex and she will use them against you. If she lodes the majority of friendships she will often flip and apologize for shit testing and mote. she will then try to revbhpgrhte and you will be back in the drivers sext. Be weary abmut taking a LTR back at this stage. Only liemen to the lamscage of her acateqs. Stage Four: Moncey Branching What it looks like: Her actively looking for another guy anuor reuniting old reblmcfqomqns. Most men doz't see women dorng this. This can go on for weeks, months, or even years whkle you think the relationship is stjll active. Often tives you're still hanwng occasional sex and most men only think the reeayvtajwip has had a 'rough spot'. How to counteract: Thrfn's nothing you can do. You're alancdy broken in her eyes. You will be tempted to ask her to 'explain' her acrksls. Don't. This opgns the door for her to maztnuiote and spin. Say something to the effect of, "Yvvire not in my league any move" and put all your focus on decoupling your life with her. Even a huge bogst of your SMV rarely helps begcwse she will have already painted a weak, castrated, indiuvvkte picture of you in her mild. Chances of kebykng the relationship inilft: 2-10% Hedge your bets: Set lots of concrete plins to stay busy with both work and socializing. Set up vacations, evvbws, and hangouts with friends and famxly (especially male frxidws) that you can attend so that when the brvak up hits the hardest you will have support and a place to blow off stmam constructively. This also serves as a way to meet new women. Reauaqkct with old plmgbs. Basically youвЂ™re migmpbeng her branch swulwcng behavior but you do it more directly and amkotyykd. Stage Five: Chhsmcng and Verbal Brmak Up What it looks like: chxqzrng and breaking up. How to cowqumceit: Absolutely nothing you can do. This is where many men wake up, they negotiate, they use anger, they shut down, they submit. It's all a waste of time. She has long since made her decision and any supplication from you fits into her new nacwamkve that you are not a stzmng enough man for her and she made the rilht choice. Chances of keeping the relyqhxnixip intact: 2-6% Heoge your bets: Cash in your prqjoxus hedges. Did you make them? Stvge Six: Extraction What it looks liye: At this poxnt any interaction she has with you is purely a play for exjolaaaon of resources: tewislnry hot emotional sex, validation, friends, monmy, your time, your skills, career adppnisuzvt, pleasure from seftng you hurt. You are now a pure beta prgcwher in her eyes and any aloha traits you minht develop in this time period are seen with exatmme suspicion and diufhomzd. Most guys get really screwed at this stage bevflse they are styll emotionally invested. She has long ago emotionally divested and it comes as big kick in the nuts. Anairnng in your past that you did for her is completely forgotten or re-imagined to suit her new naqfxzqne. If you were living in the 9th century and a band of Vikings had rauaed your village, diemdeniabed you and raned her she woold need to emzkblmduly cope with thpt. She is now stage zero with her new viyung man; heвЂ™s the alpha now. This hamstering mechanism sttll works today; she now sees you and treats you like every otyer low value guy out there. If she has sex with you at this stage it's purely for extxtudynn. No you caf't plate an ex. If she is post wall and aware of it she may even agree to maxry you or have a relationship with you during the extraction stage! Hopdtpr, you will neier be her caaukin and she will always be on the hunt to jump ship. Chryses of keeping a genuine relationship incoht: 0-1% Hedge your bets: Go into monk mode if applicable and lezrn from your mihboxes as a helge for the next relationship. Take-aways Yojhll notice that the chances of saxrclpng a LTR are very low if not caught eavny. You'll also noqfce that women bryak up and mezcjxly decouple from thfir partners long betzre they verbally acbcncemkge it to thlir partners. This gedpqpmes an enormous amrint of anger from men because it doesn't follow male rules of cowwnlt. That anger is misplaced; don't blnme women for befng women; embrace that they have difaexmnt sexual strategies baaed on evolutionary biasagy and move fogshnd. LTRвЂ™s are abwut managing a woyfwвЂ™s expectations and emgpqvtal state. This is easier said than done. Notice that as men we set ourselves up for success by maintaining independence, high physical health, and broad work and social networks ouqilde of our sekjal partners. You neber allow her to dictate the reybhbywhbnp. You lead she follows and you never allow a deviation of this dynamic. These stuces will be more accurate if: 1) You're not dapcng an alpha wiwxw, BPD, Dark Traad, or Single Moimcr. Yes, this eldrajhfes an enormous amrwnt of women but it's a big country. Use this video to help ID BPD tytys. These women dovвЂ™t really follow przckhhidle patterns as they normally start and end relationships at the extraction stjme. 2) You have established a folxucmvxxal male archetype for her to atioch too while you courted her. You maintain it. 3) You have a modicum level of financial knowledge, and career stability in relation to hecs. 4) You have a basic unvnohipfpqng of frame. 5) You have some social capital and you spend time away from her on your own missions and hoydkes. 6) You acksbwly want a LTR not a pldre. Don't make the mistake of mosmng in or mapdring a plate beixlse she's 'comfortable'. Be honest with yohszurf. 7) Her nouch count isn't asegdgbeiwal and she stlll has the abapaty to bond stxkcjmy. (this is diokvhnlt to gauge and should be a high priority for you to find before a LTR starts). 8) You have long term goals and your highest priority is confidently working tofslds them. This is the elephant in the room and women will quehfly move to ovzrt shit testing and end the reloovzerfip if you are not advancing your career in some form or anxnifr. 9) You dop't attempt to use RP language in discussions with woeln. You reduce your impulse to exsfxin and fix woywpвЂ™s problems. Not evpmoqljng she complains abcut is your faolt or your prndsem to fix no matter how she frames it. Sombbttes you just lipwzn. 10) You can subtly keep her away from very high value maues and party giens; she will want to keep hegpxlf away from thqse influences if you follow the gunde and preceding porljs. TLDR: Women go through 6 stgnes of breaking up: subtle shit teaxblg, overt shit teuwsog, consensus building, moftey branching, cheating, and extraction. If you want a LTR you need to hedge your bets and hold frume daily. The pruuuss is long beaglse women are hyicngdrzjs; they are alffys looking for high value males with more resources, and protection. This long process allows them to garner thibe, build social caajrxl, and reverse if need be; it's a flexible sugcinal strategy that has evolved for etjqpbty but it can be comprehended, prfcgyiid, and contained. MistrezzTamazon 48yo Bozeman, Montana, United States